Activities, Interests, Lifestyle, my adventures, Soul Stuff, Uncategorized

3 Things I Love About My Sober Companion

Ok, now listen: everyone, and I mean everyone, needs a sober companion! Not because we are all addicts, not because we are necessarily broken but mostly because, in the same way that it takes a village to raise a child, it takes one to navigate this thing called life too!

Simply put, a sober companion comes alongside the addict and helps them to stay away from the addiction. A sober companion spends every waking moment with the addict and is as invested in the addict’s well being as if it is their own. You know what? Watch the show Elementary to see what this relationship really looks like. I’m gonna stay here and share with you 3 things I love about my sober companion.

Companionship

There is no better feeling than knowing that you are not alone in this world; that someone out there is thinking of you, knows you deeply and is in your corner. In the absence of a romantic relationship which often serves this purpose, it is reassuring to know that such a relationship can still exist. Someone once said that sometimes friendship is so much more than what we call “more than friends”. And this is so true. A sober companionship allows for the same, if not a deeper intimacy without the messiness of romance. This allows for more safety than a romantic realtionship.

Keeps you on your toes

If no one you interact with challenges your thinking or makes you see things differently to how you would before they came around, you’re not getting the most out of your any of your relationships. It’s enriching to have a companion that doesn’t always agree with you and shows you aspects of the world and yourself that you never knew existed before.

Adventures

Again, the absence of a romantic relationship often makes it difficult to have adventures. Yes, it’s ok to walk alone sometimes, but I believe we were created to walk together and to share experiences. Having a sober companion means having a partner for everything from sleepovers to parties to baecations! Cover companionships teach you how to share your life with another when you have grown to live your life only for yourself.

I hope you find it; your village, your companions, people in your corner. Its a big world out there and it would be a shame to walk that world on your own. Thank so much for popping in! Often my words are few but I hope you still love it here! Have a beautiful week😘

Activities, am writing, Interests, Lifestyle, my adventures

3 things Kiki has taught me

This month, I made a huge financial decision. My sister named it Kiki. While I don’t like bragging about it, I would like to share what making such a big decision has taught me.

Do it scared

I put off this decision for a long time because I was afraid: of making the wrong decision, the implications, being conned and all kinds of realistic and unrealistic things that could happen if I did this. But Kiki taught me that you can’t let fear stop you from doing anything in life. In fact, fear is good. When you’re afraid, you check and double check every move you make. You are much more cautious than you are when there is no fear. I’ve also never prayed harder than when I was afraid or uncertain!

Do it alone

When I was a child, I assumed what we all do growing up: I’d get married and everything would be taken care of. I wouldn’t have to worry about finances, it would all take care of itself. Ha! Life taught me differently and I had to get in the arena and navigate my way through all things grown up. You can’t always wait for anyone else to come along side you. Sometimes you have to do it alone if you want to get it done. Luckily, as determined as I was to do it for myself, I quickly discovered that I have people in my corner who have helped me calculate the best options, who were my second set of eyes and people who just wanted to get excited for me! This decision is solely mine, but I had a lot of help and I had many supporters!

Do it slowly

Life is teaching me to be patient. Not necessarily for a long wait but in the short term as well. There is such a fine line between patience and being lackadaisical, but it’s ok to let things go for the night and re looking in the morning. Its ok to ask and ask again, just to be sure and it’s ok to strike while the iron is hot. Life will teach you how to live it if you live long enough.

I’m excited about what life is teaching me this year and in this season in my life. I like what I see when I look at my life and that’s what makes all the difference for this life.

Thank you for popping in and thank you for putting up with my silence lately! It’s been a weird year so I know you understand! Have a beautiful week😘

Activities, am writing, Interests, Lifestyle, Ramblings

Lion

Many people, for some reason feel the need to tell you what more you need to do that will take you to the next level in terms of your work, talents or interests. I’m sure these people mean well and think they are encouraging you. It’s not encouraging,though.

It takes courage to put yourself out there; to do what you’re good at and to allow an audience to see you. You’re a lion if you are able to do that.

When they drag you down, telling you how you can do it better when they’ve never shown your consistency or never shown up to do the thing, remember that they are sheep and you are a lion for doing what you do;whether you are fumbling at it or you are seasoned, it is you who is the lion, not them and a lion does not bother himself with the opinion of sheep.

Activities, Interests, Lifestyle

Social Dilemma


I  thought I had social media down. I was convinced that I wasn’t addicted and I could “stop whenever I wanted” ( I know, that’s exactly what addicts say!) Enter this documentary that everyone is recommending on Netflix. I was wrong. I’m a user! They have me right where they want me! Here’s are 3 things that I learned from watching this critically acclaimed documentary:

I care about likes.
We often try to front. ” I have a profile there, but I never post”, “uurgh, I don’t know anything about that platform, hey.” But if I’m honest with myself, I care about getting many likes – on any social media platform. It matters to me that my followers think I’m smart and funny and sexy and… worthy.

I go there when I am lonely or bored.

Social media is definitely my digital pacifier. Sometimes I use it to pass the time or when I feel detached from people and sometimes I snoop, trying to find things I’d rather not talk about here. I pick a digital rabbit hole: Whatsapps statuses or Timelines and I just keep scrolling and scrolling aimlessly. I remember often getting home from work and locking into my phone screen for up to half an hour after barely putting my things down. I’m not really looking at anything or for anything, but I can’t put my phone down and do something else that is engaging and more rewarding.

It’s not a tool

Nobody is trying to make social media less addictive! Do you realise that?! What started off as a means to connect us to old friends and family has now become a means to feed our insecurities, our fears and our need to be accepted. For all of social media’s usefulness, it is not a tool that waits in the corner for us to use. It seeks you out when you’ve been gone too long. It relies on your very addiction for it to keep going. That. Is. scary.

In a nutshell, this documentary really sobered me up and made me take a hard look at myself and what I use social media for. I’d like to to be less dependant on my phone, switch off notifications and put my phone in the other room for a few hours, because for all of social media’s tricks, we are ultimately responsible for what owns us and what does not.

Thank you so much for popping in today. I’ve become increasingly bad at being consistent, I apologise! Bare with me; I will do better. Have an amazing week everyone!