Hey Everyone! I hope your weekend was refreshing and relaxing! Mine was busy, but good busy🙂
So, today I wanted to talk about the connections we making with the written word. What kind of blogs do you connect to? What kind of writing grabs your attention and has you hooked to every post from the first post? Comment at the end of the post. I’d love to hear your thoughts!
One of my students, whom I think is going to grow into and amazing artist wrote a piece of prose that I connected to and felt I needed to share with you today…
At first everything is fine, normal. Suddenly, I feel a pressure through my body, feels like adrenaline, it makes me unable to concentrate or stay still. Then I feel a burden that I should be doing something. I know what it is but I can’t concentrate on doing it because of the adrenaline.
After that comes worry ( I don’t know about what) feels like I’m doing something wrong but I’m not doing anything.
Then it’s reality disconnection. I look at myself in the mirror and I know it’s me but it doesn’t feel “real”? I look at my hands, my body, other people in the room and even objects. I know what they are there but it feels like I’m looking at myself, the whole world, through a screen.
Then comes the logging, a sudden need for affection. I picture someone hugging me. There are two people, 1 a guy I see as my boyfriend, 2 a child around the age of 10, not my child simply someone I’m helping, they both give me a hug and it makes me feel the same:Happy.
But I’m not the type of person to want to receive affection, in fact I almost completely reject it. I have a lot of people in my life that care for me and love, willing to give me affection but when they do it it’s different. My imagination feels more realistic that reality ( more satisfying I guess).
Suddenly a drop in energy. I feel almost dead and useless.suicidal thoughts pass through my head but never stay. It just doesn’t feel like that’s my answer. I keep thinking I need to find my people so wait a bit longer, I still have something to do so wait a bit longer.
Then I get the rush again and can’t focus. I feel like I want to scream, answer questions I was never asked about and a cream truths that weren’t hidden by a lie. Nobody ever said otherwise so why do I feel the need to say these “truths”? Then I bite myself or pierce my hands with my nails, not enough to
bleed or leave any marks, I don’t want people to know but I want them to know, just enough to feel some pain and get my mind off of those thoughts.
Then I’m back like I never left. Those thoughts and emotions feel like they were never there, never mine. I know I had them but it feels like such thoughts could never belong to me, like I could never feel that way. And suddenly I can’t even explain what happened to me…
I hope you enjoyed that! I certainly did😊 Thank you for visiting! It’s always great to have you😘