In Africa and many other cultures, I suppose, we are expected to grow up, get married, pop out a few kids and live happily ever after -or something like that. But if you are a real adult, you know that life is much more complicated than these “simple” steps.
I’m 34 years old and I have no kids yet. I don’t think my ovaries are broken. I’ve just always placed more value in having babies with someone rather than so that I could be a mother. I am yet to find “The One” and this is just how my life has unfolded. I’m not entirely sad about it.
“What?! You don’t have kids? Why not? You should get to it, you’re not getting any younger!”
Today, I want to address the elephant in my room called life: babies. And I actually want to officially face what people have thrown at me about my lack of children over the years.
Don’t you want babies?
In my most honest moments, I have looked myself in the mirror and asked myself the same question. I love kids – hell, I teach kids – don’t I want my own? Well, when I was younger, it wasn’t a matter of wanting them. I actually just always took it for granted that I would have them, period. Now that I’m older and my window is getting smaller, I realize that while I wouldn’t be opposed to having a mini me running around, If I hit menopause and am no longer able to have kids, I’ll be ok with it- I think I may be wrong but for now, that’s where I’m at on the matter. I vaguely remember a time in my late 20s when I was prone to occasional broodiness, but it was never an overwhelming compelling feeling. In a nutshell, I guess I do want kids, but I’ll be cool if I don’t ultimately have them.
You’re supposed to have kids. It’s time now!
This one is for all the people out there who look at women like me expectantly whenever our peers have babies: stop implying that women should have children at any point in their lives! You will come to my baby shower, but you will not be in the delivery room nor will you be up with me at 3am for feedings and changings. You will not be there to help me financially or emotionally when it gets too much. You will be supportive and sometimes help,but it won’t be entirely your responsibility. It requires more than just my body to bring a child into the world and much more than that to raise this little human being in this world!
Yes, these little people are a wonder, and I often wish I could see what someone with my genes would look like and what type of person they would turn out to be. I wonder if I would be a good mother and if I can give this person all the tools they need to make it in their own lives.
Yes, sometimes I have a mild… yearning for a baby of my own. But I want the right circumstances to have that baby. And until those circumstances come into being, it can wait – really! I never want to find myself in a situation I feel I should have avoided or was not ready for. I don’t want to look on at my child and fight back a twinge of regret.
Please share your views! If you don’t have kids yet, what’s your take on the matter? Are you waiting or have you decided not to go there? I would love to hear from you!
Thank you for popping in! It’s always a pleasure to have you here. Have an awesome week! I’m looking forward to another adventurous week ahead! I’ll tell you all about it in due time😘