Interests, Lifestyle, Series, Soul Stuff

Anonymous: A Different Lens on Toxic Friendships

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I know people are probably tired of hearing about how some friendships can be toxic but really, toxic friendships are a thing but so are the enablers…

For years I have been stifled by the toxicity of most of my friendships; I’ve had the friends who demand gifts but don’t even remember your special days, the ones who are always in need but never reach out to help you when the signs are crystal clear that you could do with a friend, the ones who elevate their importance in your life and you have to maintain that level of importance and my favorite; the ones who plan everything around you being there for them but never show up for you…

I have also been strangled by the painful realisation that I am an enabler, a bitter pill to swallow but very necessary. One day, I painfully realised that I either attract toxic friendships or I breed them and with me being the only constant in all these situations, it only made sense that I was the breeder.

I have very poor boundaries, very high expectations of myself in friendships and often don’t take the time to stop and address issues in my friendships that upset me. This is mainly because I’ve set such a high precedent that when I do address them, people cannot relate because I’ve shown up in a particular way for the longest time!

I have allowed my friends to use me in efforts to prove my loyalty to them but not once have I expected the same of them. Actually, I have always assumed they’d do the same and each time they didn’t, bitterness and resentment grew turning me into someone toxic to them which makes me wonder: were they even toxic to begin with?

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