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3 Gripes With Ghosting

A few weeks ago, Grey’s Anatomy announced that Justin Chambers ( Alex Karev) is leaving the show after 15 years. Following this announcement, and after some personal time of mourning, I was interested to see how he was going to be written out of the show. I was expecting a dramatic and sudden death like they did with George, Lexi and Dereck. Or maybe Alex and Jo would decide to make a fresh start somewhere else, but all of these scenarios have already been [over?] done. Considering all of these possible exits, this one did not occur to me: Alex ghosts us! The truth came out 10 days ago so this doesn’t count as a spoiler, OK?!

Bare with me, I am deeply invested in this show. I’ve seen 90% of all the episodes and this is the 16th season! I watch reruns while I wait for the next season. Some old episodes still make me ugly cry and, don’t judge me, but I may argue with medical facts based on cases I’ve seen on the show! I know it’s all fictional, but many of the previous episodes have triggered me and Alex ghosting Jo was no different.

For those who have been fortunate enough not to experience this, ghosting someone is when you pull a disappearing act on them without any kind of explanation. It’s usually a potential lover, current lover or a current spouse, although friends are known to pull this stunt too. You don’t return texts or calls and your loved one has no idea where you have gone or why. Ghosting has become a norm in our society, especially with the birth of social media. As easily and quickly as we can get in touch with someone no matter the distance, we can just as easily and quickly cut them out of our lives. I don’t know about you, but I find ghosting problematic. Here are 3 of my gripes with this inconsiderate behaviour:

The Unanswered Questions

The lack of clarity is the worst part about ghosting. Whether you are an over thinker like me, or you shrug things off and move on quickly, I’m sure you still wonder. Did you say something wrong? Did you do something wrong? OK, maybe the ghosting wasn’t about you, but what if it actually was about you? What if it happened because you were not good enough? Is this person OK? Were they mugged? Are they dead in the streets? WHAT HAPPENED?! The questions and doubts swim around in your head for an indefinite amount of time until one day, you realise you haven’t been agonising over their disappearance as much anymore. I often wonder why people dont just say they’re out and leave it at that. You’ll still agonise but at least you won’t check your phone or try to reach them. People are strange.

The Cruelty

Would you get up and leave the room while someone is talking to you? Would you just keep staring at the person as they go on and on about their thoughts, half acknowledging what they are saying but never responding? Or would you simply put your hand over their mouth to make them stop talking? I bet you’ve never done this to anyone in person, so why do it in virtual reality? Justify it however you like, but ghosting is cruel. It’s mean. It’s dismissive of a person’s relevance,their feelings and their sense of worth.

The Door Left Ajar

Every time someone knocks at her door, Jo runs to answer, hoping it’s Alex – it’s not- and she feels the pain all over again! Has it just been my experience or do ghosters magically reappear one day like nothing happened?! They’ll just say hey, they’ll chat like nothing happened and if you don’t ask, they’ll never answer those questions you had swimming in your head that entire time they were gone and, if everything goes according to their plan, things will go back to normal. I think that’s the whole point of ghosting. It’s like leaving the house with the door ajar because you’re not really leaving the property and you have every intention of coming back. It’s CRAP!! NONSENSE!! POPPYCOCK!! I think it’s unfair to leave people without a word and coming back like you never left. It’s unfair to think they’ve just been sitting around waiting for you to be ready to pick things back up. Stop it.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s clear yet what happened to Alex. But Jo is broken. I don’t think Alex would just disappear like that after so many years of friendship with Grey and after all the things he went through with Jo. It really doesn’t seem like something he would do so, we wait in bated breath for the answers that will give the audience and Jo the closure they need. I’m holding thumbs!

Thank you so much for popping in! It’s always good to have you here! Have an awesome week😘