One day, they’ll call your bluff. They’ll realise you’re not as amazing as you show yourself to be and they’ll fire you, they’ll unfriend you, they’ll leave you.
This is the fear I walk around with every day of my life. Sometimes I think I’m a fraud and I’m the only one who knows it. I’ve covered it up with my smile and my eloquence but they’ll find out the truth one of these days. It’s called imposter’s syndrome: self doubt playing in a loop in your head asking you what right you think you could ever have to be good enough.
So how do you deal with Imposter’s Syndrome, because it is a reality that many of us live with every day. It has helped me to put a name to the thoughts and feelings and not to disregard them, but face them and cope with them. Here are 3 ways I have started.
In the moments I feel like a fraud, my first instinct is to tell someone what I am trying to do so that that they can affirm that I am in fact innovative and amazing. It’s like I don’t trust myself as a first opinion so I go looking for a second opinion and a third and fourth. Funny enough, I never feel better for long after those consultations. If anything, I find myself needing more of it. So, in the past few days, I’ve stopped. I don’t always get it right, but when that need to ask someone else to affirm me and assure me that I’m doing the right thing, I don’t. I choose, instead to trust what I think is best and put that forward first.
No, you’re not gonna “bounce” this idea off of someone else. You know what you’re doing!
Give yourself credit
Look, there’s nothing wrong with a little outside affirmation sometimes, but it becomes problematic when you need it all the time. It has really taken the edge off for me to give myself some credit in those moments of weakness; to call myself capable and to keep working at it even though I’m a little scared of the outcome.
Don’t overthink it
My mind is a dark dodgy alley I should never walk down on my own. If I allow myself, I will talk myself into a complete panic. I will get lost in the details and wonder why I came up with such a silly idea to start with. I know my tell tell signs of overthinking are and I try to walk away from that dark alley from the get go.
So there you have it! I hope you know that you are not a fraud! You deserve the happiness you have and even the happiness you are hoping for. You belong at that job and no one is going to call your bluff, so keep your head up!
Have an awesome week, dear reader! Until Sunday😘