am writing, Love & War, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

3 Things Rejected People Don’t Want to Hear

Happy Humpday everyone!

If you are a human being, you’ve probably been rejected at some point in your life. And since we all click on the “I am not a robot” button, you know what I am talking about.

Rejection stings, no, it hurts and it’s very difficult to deal with. Though over time, we can look back on our experiences and laugh, during the process of recovery, the situation seems hopeless. The questions are endless and you are certain that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. This is me at the moment: I am in mourning and though I know the truth is I will get over this, it feels pretty bleak at the moment.

Of course, the bad comes with the good. None of us are completely unloved. None of us can say with any certainty that nobody sees any good in us. And so, my dear friends have huddled around me to remind me that I am worthy. I do find certain phrases rather unhelpful though. So here are the 3 things I think rejected people don’t need to hear while in the thick of the mourning

This wasn’t a great idea

This is not the best thing to say to a rejected person. Very few repeatedly rejected people want to hear how stupid what they did was. They don’t want to hear that they should have seen it coming. Believe me, part of the mourning period involves self-blame. We do the best we can to avoid as much damage to ourselves that we can, most of the time anyway. Hearing that you effed up yet again while that is the conversation you are already having with yourself does not help.

You deserve better

“But you’re so amazing!” they say, “who would reject all of this?!” Well, some of us have a track record of rejections, trust me! In most cases, people have a humble, positive opinion about themselves. Thinking that you deserve better eventually leads to the question of why better has perpetually not happened?! Enter, the overthinker and consequent sadness and the black abyss of endless hopelessness. It gets pretty depressing after that.

Maybe you should… In future

Ok, listen. If adulting has taught me anything, it is this: you can do it all right. You can make all the healthy decisions, keep your eyes peeled for all the signs and do everything to prepare and even avoid the storms, but they come anyway and render you shipwrecked anyway! Life can be cynical despite your defenses. That’s the bottom line sometimes.

So there you have it! While we know and acknowledge the well-intended love from those around us, sometimes, all a rejected person wants to hear is, ” Im sorry this happened to you.” Sometimes we just need you to sit with us, maybe cry with us and help is pick ourselves up again.

I know a day will come when, I will wake up in the morning and not feel any weight or the memory of my rejection, until then, it would be great not to hear any of these 3 things.

Thank you all for popping in today. The world is a tough, place. Be kind to one another, please. Have a good week everyone😘

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am writing, Love & War, Prose, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

Futile

She finally realized that sometimes,

even when you give it your absolute best,

the greener pastures will come and sweep it all away.

Sometime it doesn’t matter what you could have done.

It will all go up in flames and the flames will take you too…

Looking Forward To, Love & War, my adventures, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

Young At Heart

Hey Erbody!

I hope it has been a good weekend for you! I’ve been swamped with work lately which had me believing that I’m barely coping with my work life, but I realized that I just need to take a step back sometimes and realize that I’m competent and coping just fine!

So, after marking 55 scripts of a test, completing 14 of my 28 subject comments, cleaning and doing a bit of shopping, I realized that I could afford to go out and have a little fun yesterday!

It has occurred to me that I have a pattern when I go to social gatherings: I’m always with the kids either playing catch in the pool or jumping on the trampoline until my legs give in. Adulting can be so much that the last thing you want to do is talk about at social gatherings as well! Give me the kids. I don’t mind being focused on perfecting my throw or not jumping too high to get my mind off more serious matters for a little while!

I’ve been told several times that I don’t look as old as I actually am. People have always been shocked that I’m 34. I’m convinced that being around kids all day is keeping me young😊

I’m at the stage in my life where I don’t have kids of my own yet, but all my friends and family do. I’m at the stage where I can play with other people’s children and I can give them back when I’m over it or when they get crabby! I’m often the aunty that’s playing with the little people! I find kids’ idea of fun very simple so I’m always eager to join in!

I don’t hide my age; I don’t see the point. Even if I pretend I’m younger, it really doesn’t change my actual 34 years at all, so I gave up the denialism a long time ago!

I hope you are enjoying the season you are in right now its very important because you’ll miss it when it’s gone!

Thank you so much for popping in today! Have a beautiful week ahead😘

am writing, Guest Blogging, Love & War, Prose, Ramblings, Series, Soul Stuff

Anonymous: An Open Letter

Suprise! Yes, I’m still on a quest for bloggers interested in writing something anonymously on this here blog of mine! If you’re interested, drop me a mail on:

noloyiso.l@gmail.com

Enjoy this month’s post!

Dear life

It is me, a Liver. It has been 20 something odd years on this journey together and the experiences are a ton and a half. I could write a book but words alone are not fully capable of expressing the depth and extent of what I have witnessed in this journey with you.

Through it all, I have learnt to become a survivor. I am not easily discouraged even in the bleakest of situations. I have stared depression, stress and anxiety in the eye but I am still standing. I have had the angel of death visiting a couple of times taking with it my loved ones, but my faith has remained unshakeable. I have lost friends who promised me infinity and beyond but here I am; the curve that accentuates my smile has never diminished. I have had my heart broken several times, but my belief in love has never faded.

Through these ups and downs, I have learnt to be grateful, I have also learnt that I was made to last and that what is in me is bigger than these stumbling blocks. I have learnt to tell my story the best way I know and don’t know how but it is a story of strength. Dear life, as we continue on this journey together, I look forward to all that you will throw my way.

Warmest Regards
Lifer

Well, I’ll see you on Sunday, my friendlies!😘

am writing, Looking Forward To, Love & War, my adventures, Nifty Tricks, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

Move!!

Happy Wednesday, everyone! I’m so sorry I’m later than usual!

The days are flying by and I often feel like I’m barely touching sides, phew! As long as I am progressing and as long as things are getting done, I will never complain!

So I’m finally doing it: tonight is my last night in this matchbox I’ve called home for the last 4 – 5 years! Remember, I told you about this a while ago? Check it out here if you’ve forgotten!

Moving has made me realise how far I’ve come from that bright-eyed bushy tailed 20 something, who moved up to Joburg with a few suitcases and nothing else! Now, I have furniture and framed pictures, reception tables and a metal rubbish bin. I have linen and so many more glasses than the last time I moved! Guys, I have things! Progress and growth is the order of the day!

I had every intention of taking pictures to show everyone, but I’ll save that for another time, I think! I’ve just been focused on moving bit by bit so that tomorrow is not so strenuous! Luckily I have midterm break starting tomorrow so I can unpack and rest and also catch up on work, because wow, there is so much work to do!

Still, I am grateful for days full of things to do that matter to me! I am no longer the man on the bleachers but an active participant in my own life! That’s worth celebrating!

I leave you with this thought:

Thank you so much for waiting up for me! We’ll chat on Sunday ( or maybe sooner?) Have a beautiful week😘

am writing, Love & War, Soul Stuff

Grand Gestures

Happy Sunday everyone! This past week has been very long and difficult!

Valentine’s day is a tough day for most single people. In an attempt to numb the pain, we act as though the day doesn’t matter or it’s silly, commercial or superficial. But deep down I think most of us yearn to be loved genuinely and we yearn for it to be shouted from rose petaled rooftops!

In the absence of these gestures, I decided many years ago to find my own ways of enjoying the day of love. I may not have my romantic love yet, but I am loved and appreciated by many people in my life!

So my day was filled with chocolate and love notes and even a bunch of flowers delivered to my work! It was an all-around good day!

And so I leave you with this thought: Love comes in all forms and all those forms are important. Embrace it and enjoy it, my dear readers!

Thank you so much for visiting with me today! You are loved and appreciated, remember that! Have an awesome week😘

am writing, Looking Forward To, Love & War, my adventures, Ramblings

Blessings in Disguise

Hello everybody!

I hope you have had a good week so far! Thank you for popping by today.

I’m experiencing a loss at the moment so it has been a bit rough. I am relieved that the worst of it is over though, so I know that it will only get better moving forward.

I got a bit of a mouthful from my friends about the way I choose to deal with it. I don’t like being a burden to people nor do I like whining about the same thing over and over. I also often feel like my own struggles are not nearly as big as other people’s struggles and so I bottle everything up inside and try to cope on my own.

So keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flows the spring of life – Proverbs 4:23

Never take issues of the heart lightly. A blitz of the heart impacts the rest of your life so if your heart breaks, it poisons everything else in your life. No heartbreak is too trivial or insignificant when it affects your heart. No problem is too small. It all matters if it matters to you! And that is why it is so important to guard your heart! This is a lesson for me.

Be prepared, whether the time is favourable or not – 2 Tim 4:2

While it’s difficult to stay prepared all the time, it is important to stay equipped with what you need in order to deal with whatever may come whenever it comes. The first blow will knock you off your feet but always bear in mind that you are strong enough to pick yourself back up again. For now, that is as prepared as I can be for what life has in store for me.

Like a gold ring in a pig’s snout, is a beautiful woman without discretion – Proverbs 11:22

This one speaks for itself. I can be worth a million bucks but if I am not wise in the decisions I make, that beauty is wasted. I think I’ve wasted my value enough for a lifetime and I want to move forward making much better decisions for myself in the future!

Despite the obstacles we come across, remember that the future can be better than the past. I’m looking forward to a much stronger and beautiful to me!

Thank you so much for visiting! Have a beautiful week ahead, everyone and try to see the blessings life shows you even in the trying times😊