Activities, Interests, Lifestyle, Love & War, Soul Stuff

3 Gripes With Ghosting

A few weeks ago, Grey’s Anatomy announced that Justin Chambers ( Alex Karev) is leaving the show after 15 years. Following this announcement, and after some personal time of mourning, I was interested to see how he was going to be written out of the show. I was expecting a dramatic and sudden death like they did with George, Lexi and Dereck. Or maybe Alex and Jo would decide to make a fresh start somewhere else, but all of these scenarios have already been [over?] done. Considering all of these possible exits, this one did not occur to me: Alex ghosts us! The truth came out 10 days ago so this doesn’t count as a spoiler, OK?!

Bare with me, I am deeply invested in this show. I’ve seen 90% of all the episodes and this is the 16th season! I watch reruns while I wait for the next season. Some old episodes still make me ugly cry and, don’t judge me, but I may argue with medical facts based on cases I’ve seen on the show! I know it’s all fictional, but many of the previous episodes have triggered me and Alex ghosting Jo was no different.

For those who have been fortunate enough not to experience this, ghosting someone is when you pull a disappearing act on them without any kind of explanation. It’s usually a potential lover, current lover or a current spouse, although friends are known to pull this stunt too. You don’t return texts or calls and your loved one has no idea where you have gone or why. Ghosting has become a norm in our society, especially with the birth of social media. As easily and quickly as we can get in touch with someone no matter the distance, we can just as easily and quickly cut them out of our lives. I don’t know about you, but I find ghosting problematic. Here are 3 of my gripes with this inconsiderate behaviour:

The Unanswered Questions

The lack of clarity is the worst part about ghosting. Whether you are an over thinker like me, or you shrug things off and move on quickly, I’m sure you still wonder. Did you say something wrong? Did you do something wrong? OK, maybe the ghosting wasn’t about you, but what if it actually was about you? What if it happened because you were not good enough? Is this person OK? Were they mugged? Are they dead in the streets? WHAT HAPPENED?! The questions and doubts swim around in your head for an indefinite amount of time until one day, you realise you haven’t been agonising over their disappearance as much anymore. I often wonder why people dont just say they’re out and leave it at that. You’ll still agonise but at least you won’t check your phone or try to reach them. People are strange.

The Cruelty

Would you get up and leave the room while someone is talking to you? Would you just keep staring at the person as they go on and on about their thoughts, half acknowledging what they are saying but never responding? Or would you simply put your hand over their mouth to make them stop talking? I bet you’ve never done this to anyone in person, so why do it in virtual reality? Justify it however you like, but ghosting is cruel. It’s mean. It’s dismissive of a person’s relevance,their feelings and their sense of worth.

The Door Left Ajar

Every time someone knocks at her door, Jo runs to answer, hoping it’s Alex – it’s not- and she feels the pain all over again! Has it just been my experience or do ghosters magically reappear one day like nothing happened?! They’ll just say hey, they’ll chat like nothing happened and if you don’t ask, they’ll never answer those questions you had swimming in your head that entire time they were gone and, if everything goes according to their plan, things will go back to normal. I think that’s the whole point of ghosting. It’s like leaving the house with the door ajar because you’re not really leaving the property and you have every intention of coming back. It’s CRAP!! NONSENSE!! POPPYCOCK!! I think it’s unfair to leave people without a word and coming back like you never left. It’s unfair to think they’ve just been sitting around waiting for you to be ready to pick things back up. Stop it.

Anyway, I don’t think it’s clear yet what happened to Alex. But Jo is broken. I don’t think Alex would just disappear like that after so many years of friendship with Grey and after all the things he went through with Jo. It really doesn’t seem like something he would do so, we wait in bated breath for the answers that will give the audience and Jo the closure they need. I’m holding thumbs!

Thank you so much for popping in! It’s always good to have you here! Have an awesome week😘

Activities, Interests, Lifestyle, Teacher Problems

Dem Boys

Happy Wednesday erbody! I’m sorry I left you in the lurch over the past week. It would be an excuse to say I’ve been too busy because I do believe that you make time for that which you love and hold in high esteem and you are both of those things to me!

You may know this already, but I started a new job this year. While it has been a huge adjustment, I have decided to take every new challenge in this new environment as it comes and not to allow myself to get overwhelmed. But It has been difficult to put into words what I have been experiencing; I will do my best today, though.

As of 2020, I am an English teacher at a boys’ school. Yes, the only girls I see during work hours are my female colleagues. I can’t tell you what I was expecting this would be like, but here are 3 differences I have found so far:

Boys will be boys

I’ve heard it said before that boys never grow up; their toys just get more expensive, but these words have never rung truer than they do for me right now. Whether a boy is in 8th grade or 12th grade, he is the same: a goofy, giggly, talkative bundle of energy that you must force to bounce on a yoga ball so that he can stay focused during class! Everything is funny in an all-boys classroom! There is no restraint because of girls they’re trying to impress ( No, I don’t count as a girl they’re trying to impress!). The all-boys classroom is rowdy and if you don’t have them busy writing and giving you feedback from the word go, then you will end up frustrated at the seemingly chaotic environment. I’m still figuring it out but so far, it has helped to start the lesson off by having them take down notes. The minute the chattering starts, I skip to the next slide. It seems that I need to metaphorically grab them by the face and point them to that lesson’s outcome.

What work ethic?

My friend, who is also a teacher at a boys’ school warned me of this one. If dem boys had things their way, every single period would be a free period! The grade 9s ask me every day! I’ve learned to laugh it off while they shrug as though to say, “well, I tried”. If dem boys can push a deadline for an assignment, they will- on the day it is assigned! There is no eagerness to work and no panic about covering the work in the future. Dem boys live in the moment and in the moment, chilling is the order of the day!

Get over it

This is my favourite difference about teaching in an all-boys school. They don’t take you or your reprimands personally. Sure, dem boys push boundaries. They may suggest that you are being unfair, but most of the time, their intension is to get out of working or trouble with you. If you call their bluff, they smile sheepishly and let it go because they know that they were merely taking a chance. I’ve lost it once or twice with them, but they have been quick to apologise. Dem boys don’t hold grudges. I don’t get side-eyed two days later and I don’t worry as much about being liked because, ultimately, whether they like me or not, they keep things moving. I like that.

I don’t understand everything about working with dem boys yet. It’s going to take me this whole year to at least settle in, but this is what I wanted: a new challenge, new ways to hone my craft, to test and validate my ability and I’m in for a quite an adventure!

am writing, Interests

5 Things I Do When I’m Bored

Am I the only one who sits at home with the entire day ahead of me and realise that I am bored out of my mind? What do you normally do when you feel unproductive and unmotivated to do anything about it? Well, because Google has the answer to everything, I found these helpful tips for what one can do when one is bored. The site offers 96 activities but I cut them down to ones that apply to my life. Today I’m going to share just 5 things I do when I am bored.

Clear Your Inbox

I am not the kind of person who leaves any messages unread on any platform. It drives me insane! Maybe I am a communication fanatic; I’d rather lash out on a person than blue tick them or ignore them. I’m learning that this is not always a good way to deal with situations, though, but I digress. When I am bored, I visit my emails and I open them. Most of the emails I receive are blog alerts, online shopping advertisements and devotional readings. Sometimes I spend boredom time unsubscribing to sites I don’t find necessary anymore and opening and reading the rest. I find it so satisfying when my gmail says, “whoohoo! you’ve read all your messages!” It’s also the perfect time to clear your gallery. I bet you have thousands of photos on your phone, hundreds of which are unnecessary for some reason. We do take 10 selfies and only post one, after all.

Self-care

Empty time is the perfect time to take care of yourself. Paint your nails, put on a face mask, take a nice long candlelit bath with bath oils, try a new hairstyle or simply take a nap. Sometimes we get so busy with all our responsibilities that we forget these simple pleasures.

Scribble

I find lists very soothing. They make me feel like I’m on top of things and when you are adulting, you need all the help you can get! I’m a sucker for lists, so I sometimes do my shopping list or make a to do list for the following day at work. I also take boredom time to plan, and sometimes write a few blog posts ahead of the time.

Learn a New Language

I recently started learning Portuguese. I downloaded the app and every day, I get a 5 minute lesson where I read, speak and write it. Whatever I learn that day, I use to start a conversation with the people I know who are Portuguese speaking. It’s been a great deal of fun!

Chores

This may sound like a no brainer, but it needs to be included! Boredom time is the perfect time to do some cleaning: do the dishes, laundry, sometimes I even rearrange a shelf. These activities are therapeutic for me. They do say that cleaning and sorting out your physical house helps you feel like your metaphorical house is under control. It’s a good coping mechanism for depression.

Don’t get it twisted. Sometimes I throw my list out the window and veg in front of the tv watching Greys Anatomy season 6 for the thousandth time while my bed is unmade and my inbox is filling up and I know I am wasting all that precious time. It happens sometimes! Allow yourself those moments, but have more productive days than unproductive.

Well, I hope that was helpful! These 5 a bare scraping the top of the iceberg! I didn’t even mention watching TV ( something I haven’t already seen) and reading so there are plenty more things to do when one is bored. Tell me what you do when you are bored, I’d love to hear from you! Thank you so much for popping in! It’s always a pleasure to have you here! Have an awesome week😘

Activities, Interests, Lifestyle

Ke Dezember Boss!

It’s a new month! It’s World Aids Day and if you are South African, Ke Dezember Boss! The month of Saturdays and Sundays!

I’m still chewing on some life experience right now so I don’t have much to share today. But Sunday wouldn’t be Sunday if I didn’t say hello at the very least so…

I also found this amazing guitarist on Twitter and had to share her with you because Black Girl Magic! I’ve been camped out here for the latter part of this afternoon! Enjoy and have a beautiful week😘

Activities, Interests, Lifestyle

3 Things I Learned as a Parkrun Marshall

Yesterday was my 41st Parkrun! Yes, 9 more Saturdays and I hit 50 and get that coveted Tshirt! Saturday was also my first day as a Parkrun marshall. What do marshalls do? Well, we basically help to set up before the run and we are posted at different posts on the route to cheer everyone on as they run past. I learned some valuable lessons on my rookie stint and I thought I would share them with you.

The fastest runners are focused

I’ve never been able to see the fastest runners because I’m always somewhere in the middle so it was interesting to see them on this day. It was quite interesting to see how I unbothered the winners were about the people behind them, whether they were going in the right direction and they were not even interested to acknowledge me as they flew past! Their goal was one: to finish at the best time possible. Read into that as metaphorically as you would like.

It’s not about you

When I do parkrun, my goals have varied over the past year, from finishing the run in one piece to beating my previous personal best, but as a marshall, the goal has nothing to do with me. As much as there are marathon runners in the crowd, there are also those who are running for the first time and others who are just walking it. All these people appreciate encouragement, someone who’s on their side and wants to see them do well, and I took it upon myself to be this person at my post.

Change your mindset

I knew that yesterday was not about the run and more about lending a helping hand, and I was able to run the rest of the route after everyone had passed my post, but man, it was hard to get into running mode after standing around for a while! This is going to take some getting used to and a change of mindset going forward.

Well, there you have it! I’m looking forward to doing more marshalling in the future! This is another opportunity to meet new people and be part of a community of like minded people. If you are a parkrunner, and you have done 25 or more runs, get yourself on the list of volunteers!

Thank you so much for popping in! It’s always such a pleasure to have you here. Have a beautiful week😘

Activities, Interests, Lifestyle, my adventures

4 Things to Expect on a School Camp

When last have you been on camp? With kids? Sleeping on a different bed with a different routine? Eating food you haven’t cooked and having none of your comfort stuff around you? I’m a grown up now and I’m pretty set in my ways, so school camps are not really my thing, to be honest. But the job is the job and so once a year, I find myself accompanying a grade of students on school camp. Today, I’m going to share a survival kit of sorts to help you ( if you are ever in my shoes) survive being the grownup at camp.

Pack Smart

I hate packing! I took two gap years after high school for ministry purposes and I lived out of a bag for those two years. As a result, I often don’t pack very well now because it makes me mildly anxious. I worry too much about what I think I may or may not need and end up leaving behind what I actually need in the end! But camp packing is pretty easy and doesn’t need so much drama! I pack as many t-shirts as there are days on camp with maybe 3 extras just in case and I do the same with pants and shorts. My best sneakers stay at home and I pack my old All Stars, my offroad running shoes and a couple of sandals. Basic toiletries, sunglasses and a hat and Im good to go! Camp isn’t really about comfort and I’m ok to live without certain things for a few days.

Be Flexible

Like I already said, I’m very set in my routine and I like having control over how my day goes, but on camp, my sense of control goes out the window! It’s important to be flexible and to allow facilitators to run the program as they are trained to. This is actually the perfect opportunity to relax and enjoy the activities as well!

Have Some Fun

This is important! As much as the kids are there to try obstacle courses and learn new lessons about themselves, so are you! Conquer your fears. It’s important to break out of your own comfort zone too. It makes kids feel brave when they see you do the scary challenge and they feel they can too so go for it! For the kids!

Bonding Time

Camp time is bonding time! You see a side of the kids that you don’t see in the classroom. You see them challenge and conquer fears in ways they don’t in the classroom or home space and it’s beautiful to watch! The adult time is also very rewarding in that, you get to know each other as well during this time!

So here I am for the rest of the week, slumming it casual style and loving it! I hope you have an opportunity to let loose a little bit. I hope you make space for things that grow you and make you stronger and better!

Thank you for popping in today! It’s always a pleasure to have you come by. Have an amazing week😘

Activities, Interests, Lifestyle, my adventures

More

Do you ever feel like there should be more to your life than what is in it? Over the past year or two, I have been wrestling with this question. And I’ve finally found the courage and the creativity to reach for more…

I’m working on a new branch in my career and I cannot wait to tell you more about it! I just need to put what I have on the proverbial paper into practise so watch this space!

I’ll share with you all the details in November! I can’t wait!

Have an awesome day, everyone! Thanks for popping in😘