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Merry Christmas

Hey Everyone!

It’s almost Christmas!! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Well, so I thought when I was younger and much more optimistic about, well, life in general.

Sometimes I read my old old blog posts and I wonder what happened to me. I was so full of hope and promise. I was so vibrant and so many things lay ahead of me. I miss that girl, and often wonder if she would have held on to all her sense of wonder had she avoided the unnecessary hardships life had in store for her…

I’ve been thinking about depression a lot later. They say that the festive season is peak time for it and I’ve been wondering why. I dare not speak about anyone else’s experiences except my own so I’ve been in retrospect, looking at why I find myself down during the festive season.

It took me longer than it should have to book my ticket and to pack my bag for the trip home this year. I dreaded every bit of the journey because it has become tedious. I also dreaded a lot of what was waiting for me here. The raised eyebrows at my lack of a baby bump or ring on my finger for example. Over the years, they no longer actually ask, but the expectant looks still speak volumes. Sometimes the family’s disappointment at my empty handed arrival is enough to make me want to fly away and stay away.

When I was younger, I looked forward to an awesome adulthood! I would have a a great job, a beautiful house, a husband who adored me and the coolest children in the universe! I had no idea how any of this would happen. I figured it would all fall into place, just like that!

But adutling has taught me differently over the last few years. I’ve learned that relationships are really difficult, sometimes, impossible. I’ve learned that some things in life are not as simple as ticking a box. They, in fact, require faith and waiting and saying no a lot and, sometimes rudely, in order to know peace of mind. I’ve learned that nobody but you is going to protect you..

Despite how my life seems to have plateaued, I still look forward to Christmas with my family. This is one of the few little corners in the world where I feel like I belong and I am loved and cherished! I would not give my people away for anything!

And so my prayer for you this Christmas is that you have that same corner where you are loved and treasured! May you feel overwhelming love this Christmas, a love that elates you.

Thank you so much for popping in! You know how much I love having you here. Have a beautiful day! We’ll chat on Wednesday😘

am writing, my adventures, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

I Kill Giants

Hey Everyone! It’s the beginning of yet another week! I hope you’re well!

This past week has been difficult. A good friend of mine suffered a loss this week that saddened us all. Life is fragile and shorter than we would like it to be…

All things that live in this world die. This is why you must find joy in living while the time is yours and not fear the end. To deny this is to deny life – but to embrace it. Can you embrace it? You are stronger than you think…

So there’s this film I watched last night called I Kill Giants. Babara, an 11 year old imaginative girl sees herself as the protector of her little town from giants. She is the only one who sees them and the only one equipped to fight them. It took a while for me to see that these were not in fact real giants, ( although my inner child hoped they were!) but really, a metaphor for the challenges we face in our lives.

We are all familiar with hardships. Besides my friend’s loss, my week was filled with many tears and anxiety and self-doubt. It happens from time to time. Life is not always smooth sailing. I’m often faced with my own giants and I get scared. I go into victim mode and shake my fist at the world for the injustices I experience. Of course, this is not the healthiest way to cope and so far, I don’t quite know how to get through those difficult times. Everything in my life that normally makes me happy is useless at dragging me out of that dark place. Maybe I need to change my outlook about that – I don’t know for sure. What I do know for sure is that the storms always pass – always.

There are times where you have to ask yourself. Do I want to live my life as a coward or a warrior. Decide.

I hope that, no matter what giant you face in your life right now, you know that you are stronger than you think. I hope you hold you head up and find the warrior in you. You can do this. You are doing this.

Thank you so much for dropping by! I have some very exciting news to share on Wednesday so please come again! Have a beautiful week 😘

am writing, Ramblings, Teacher Problems

Touch

Good evening, dear Readers!

What a busy week it has been! Can you believe I only got home an hour ago?! Sometimes life throws all kinds of things at you and gives you very little opportunity to catch your breath. But I am grateful for a full and fulfilling life!

As some of you may know, I’m a teacher and tomorrow, I bid farewell to a group of matriculants that have a very special place in my heart. We arrived at my current school at the same time. Them, as little grade 8s with high school ahead of them and me, a new teacher to the curriculum and to the school. In many ways, we grew up together in learning and tomorrow, they leave for the big bad world!

My hope for you tonight is that you know that no matter what walk of life you come from, no matter your occupation, no matter what you do for fun or where the universe decides to place you, you have an impact on people that you will not always see. Blieve me, you have, you are, and you will touch someone’s life! So by all means, live out loud!

I appreciate your dropping by and I trust you have a fantastic, full and fulfilling week ahead! We’ll see each other again on Sunday😘

am writing, Love & War, Prose, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

Later

“I’ll save it for later; when the mood is right and the moment is perfect,” she mused.

The thing about the perfect moment though, it is aluding. It is always just out of reach. The mood, not quite right enough, the moment, not quite perfect enough.

Sometimes, you will find, that you left that perfect mood and perfect moment behind as you put it off for later.