am writing, Love & War, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

3 Things Rejected People Don’t Want to Hear

Happy Humpday everyone!

If you are a human being, you’ve probably been rejected at some point in your life. And since we all click on the “I am not a robot” button, you know what I am talking about.

Rejection stings, no, it hurts and it’s very difficult to deal with. Though over time, we can look back on our experiences and laugh, during the process of recovery, the situation seems hopeless. The questions are endless and you are certain that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. This is me at the moment: I am in mourning and though I know the truth is I will get over this, it feels pretty bleak at the moment.

Of course, the bad comes with the good. None of us are completely unloved. None of us can say with any certainty that nobody sees any good in us. And so, my dear friends have huddled around me to remind me that I am worthy. I do find certain phrases rather unhelpful though. So here are the 3 things I think rejected people don’t need to hear while in the thick of the mourning

This wasn’t a great idea

This is not the best thing to say to a rejected person. Very few repeatedly rejected people want to hear how stupid what they did was. They don’t want to hear that they should have seen it coming. Believe me, part of the mourning period involves self-blame. We do the best we can to avoid as much damage to ourselves that we can, most of the time anyway. Hearing that you effed up yet again while that is the conversation you are already having with yourself does not help.

You deserve better

“But you’re so amazing!” they say, “who would reject all of this?!” Well, some of us have a track record of rejections, trust me! In most cases, people have a humble, positive opinion about themselves. Thinking that you deserve better eventually leads to the question of why better has perpetually not happened?! Enter, the overthinker and consequent sadness and the black abyss of endless hopelessness. It gets pretty depressing after that.

Maybe you should… In future

Ok, listen. If adulting has taught me anything, it is this: you can do it all right. You can make all the healthy decisions, keep your eyes peeled for all the signs and do everything to prepare and even avoid the storms, but they come anyway and render you shipwrecked anyway! Life can be cynical despite your defenses. That’s the bottom line sometimes.

So there you have it! While we know and acknowledge the well-intended love from those around us, sometimes, all a rejected person wants to hear is, ” Im sorry this happened to you.” Sometimes we just need you to sit with us, maybe cry with us and help is pick ourselves up again.

I know a day will come when, I will wake up in the morning and not feel any weight or the memory of my rejection, until then, it would be great not to hear any of these 3 things.

Thank you all for popping in today. The world is a tough, place. Be kind to one another, please. Have a good week everyone😘

am writing, my adventures, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

I Kill Giants

Hey Everyone! It’s the beginning of yet another week! I hope you’re well!

This past week has been difficult. A good friend of mine suffered a loss this week that saddened us all. Life is fragile and shorter than we would like it to be…

All things that live in this world die. This is why you must find joy in living while the time is yours and not fear the end. To deny this is to deny life – but to embrace it. Can you embrace it? You are stronger than you think…

So there’s this film I watched last night called I Kill Giants. Babara, an 11 year old imaginative girl sees herself as the protector of her little town from giants. She is the only one who sees them and the only one equipped to fight them. It took a while for me to see that these were not in fact real giants, ( although my inner child hoped they were!) but really, a metaphor for the challenges we face in our lives.

We are all familiar with hardships. Besides my friend’s loss, my week was filled with many tears and anxiety and self-doubt. It happens from time to time. Life is not always smooth sailing. I’m often faced with my own giants and I get scared. I go into victim mode and shake my fist at the world for the injustices I experience. Of course, this is not the healthiest way to cope and so far, I don’t quite know how to get through those difficult times. Everything in my life that normally makes me happy is useless at dragging me out of that dark place. Maybe I need to change my outlook about that – I don’t know for sure. What I do know for sure is that the storms always pass – always.

There are times where you have to ask yourself. Do I want to live my life as a coward or a warrior. Decide.

I hope that, no matter what giant you face in your life right now, you know that you are stronger than you think. I hope you hold you head up and find the warrior in you. You can do this. You are doing this.

Thank you so much for dropping by! I have some very exciting news to share on Wednesday so please come again! Have a beautiful week 😘

am writing, music, Ramblings

Be not Proud

Evening Everyone.

I hope you are having a good week.

I am very saddened to hear of the passing of one of South Africa’s great hip hop artists, HHP. Depression is becoming more and more of a concern in our country and it is becoming of greater importance to talk about it so that we may have a better understanding of it and can be of better assistance to those around us…

I can’t say I have struggled with depression myself, not to the extent of suicidal thoughts anyway, and I hope that if you are or have been in those shoes, you would seek help. Whether you believe it or not, your life is more important than pride and trying to brave through the pain.

Thank you for popping in. I appreciate your presence here. Take care of yourselves and those that you love, please😘

am writing, Love & War, music, Nifty Tricks, Prose, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

Look for You

Everywhere, I look for you.

In devotionals and bible verses and beautifully written lyrics, I look for you.

I look for you in music and melodies, in the beat, I look for you.

I look for you in venues and people, in well-cooked meals, I look for you.

I look for you in statuses and views, likes and blocks, I look for you.

Everywhere, in everything, I look for you.

am writing, Love & War, Prose, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

This Way

I wasn’t born this way.

I wasn’t born in pain.