am writing, Love & War, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

3 Things Rejected People Don’t Want to Hear

Happy Humpday everyone!

If you are a human being, you’ve probably been rejected at some point in your life. And since we all click on the “I am not a robot” button, you know what I am talking about.

Rejection stings, no, it hurts and it’s very difficult to deal with. Though over time, we can look back on our experiences and laugh, during the process of recovery, the situation seems hopeless. The questions are endless and you are certain that there is no light at the end of the tunnel. This is me at the moment: I am in mourning and though I know the truth is I will get over this, it feels pretty bleak at the moment.

Of course, the bad comes with the good. None of us are completely unloved. None of us can say with any certainty that nobody sees any good in us. And so, my dear friends have huddled around me to remind me that I am worthy. I do find certain phrases rather unhelpful though. So here are the 3 things I think rejected people don’t need to hear while in the thick of the mourning

This wasn’t a great idea

This is not the best thing to say to a rejected person. Very few repeatedly rejected people want to hear how stupid what they did was. They don’t want to hear that they should have seen it coming. Believe me, part of the mourning period involves self-blame. We do the best we can to avoid as much damage to ourselves that we can, most of the time anyway. Hearing that you effed up yet again while that is the conversation you are already having with yourself does not help.

You deserve better

“But you’re so amazing!” they say, “who would reject all of this?!” Well, some of us have a track record of rejections, trust me! In most cases, people have a humble, positive opinion about themselves. Thinking that you deserve better eventually leads to the question of why better has perpetually not happened?! Enter, the overthinker and consequent sadness and the black abyss of endless hopelessness. It gets pretty depressing after that.

Maybe you should… In future

Ok, listen. If adulting has taught me anything, it is this: you can do it all right. You can make all the healthy decisions, keep your eyes peeled for all the signs and do everything to prepare and even avoid the storms, but they come anyway and render you shipwrecked anyway! Life can be cynical despite your defenses. That’s the bottom line sometimes.

So there you have it! While we know and acknowledge the well-intended love from those around us, sometimes, all a rejected person wants to hear is, ” Im sorry this happened to you.” Sometimes we just need you to sit with us, maybe cry with us and help is pick ourselves up again.

I know a day will come when, I will wake up in the morning and not feel any weight or the memory of my rejection, until then, it would be great not to hear any of these 3 things.

Thank you all for popping in today. The world is a tough, place. Be kind to one another, please. Have a good week everyone😘

am writing, my adventures, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

I Kill Giants

Hey Everyone! It’s the beginning of yet another week! I hope you’re well!

This past week has been difficult. A good friend of mine suffered a loss this week that saddened us all. Life is fragile and shorter than we would like it to be…

All things that live in this world die. This is why you must find joy in living while the time is yours and not fear the end. To deny this is to deny life – but to embrace it. Can you embrace it? You are stronger than you think…

So there’s this film I watched last night called I Kill Giants. Babara, an 11 year old imaginative girl sees herself as the protector of her little town from giants. She is the only one who sees them and the only one equipped to fight them. It took a while for me to see that these were not in fact real giants, ( although my inner child hoped they were!) but really, a metaphor for the challenges we face in our lives.

We are all familiar with hardships. Besides my friend’s loss, my week was filled with many tears and anxiety and self-doubt. It happens from time to time. Life is not always smooth sailing. I’m often faced with my own giants and I get scared. I go into victim mode and shake my fist at the world for the injustices I experience. Of course, this is not the healthiest way to cope and so far, I don’t quite know how to get through those difficult times. Everything in my life that normally makes me happy is useless at dragging me out of that dark place. Maybe I need to change my outlook about that – I don’t know for sure. What I do know for sure is that the storms always pass – always.

There are times where you have to ask yourself. Do I want to live my life as a coward or a warrior. Decide.

I hope that, no matter what giant you face in your life right now, you know that you are stronger than you think. I hope you hold you head up and find the warrior in you. You can do this. You are doing this.

Thank you so much for dropping by! I have some very exciting news to share on Wednesday so please come again! Have a beautiful week 😘

am writing, Love & War, Ramblings

Control

Hey everyone! It’s good to have you back😊 I had a bit of drama yesterday but I’m begining to bounce back a little bit, I’ll tell you all about it in a minute!

I finally finished this gem in the wee hours of this morning! If you haven’t yet, you should really get your hands on this beauty! I’m definitely planning to read it again!

Back to my drama! The past few weeks have been very very strange. I haven’t been sleeping very well. I go to bed at a decent hour and without the disturbing noise of the TV. But without fail, every morning, around 4am, I’m up. Wide awake. I’ve finally resorted to reading and catching up on marking until I fall back asleep. On other nights, I spend the time in prayer and meditation; there is so much to pray about, guys!

I’ve also been putting my body through a lot of strain in the gym. My shins have been hurting and so have my knees from all the extra work I’ve been putting in. Everyone around me has been telling me to take it easy, rest and pick it back up – I haven’t listened and yesterday, I caught a stomach bug! Well, it wasn’t that bad, but my plan to go for a run in the morning and gym later on in the day as well as put in some marking in between was shot to hell! My body caved and demanded the rest I was refusing it.

Even as I proofread this, I feel mildy overwhelmed! I try to do too much and I’m not sure what I’m trying to prove, but my lesson here is very clear: I need to give up control: over my body, my work, the people in my life, everything! I started this year with the intention to enjoy my life the way it is and it’s time to go with the flow, listen to my body and my mind and just relax a little bit.

So share with me! What is your life demanding of you right now? I hope you are listening closely! It’s always a pleasure to have you here. Don’t worry, Sunday will be here before you know it 😘

am writing, Love & War, Prose, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

This Way

I wasn’t born this way.

I wasn’t born in pain.

am writing, Love & War, Nifty Tricks, Prose, Ramblings

Dust

“I want to be a better writer. Help me,” She pleaded. She wanted her words to touch someone. She wanted someone to connect with her ramblings.

The best advice she gave was no different to words of wisdom for the walk of life. “Keep writing… reading also helps with that.” 

And so she must keep scribbling on the page as best she can. Keep turning the page until the ink dries and soon, they will connect…

Love & War, Prose, Ramblings

Drop It and RUN!!

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Burdens are funny things. They strain our backs and render our strides crippled. We know we must put them down because…

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And so we drop the burden if only because it has become too heavy. And we feel the relief; the new found release that allows us to straigthen our backs and fill our lungs with air. We even take a few steps away from it, lift our heads to the sun and feel the warmth on our faces for the first time in a long time- but only for a few moments before we remember that something familiar is missing – the weight….

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This weightlessness is alien to us. We don’t know what to do with our new found peace of mind, our free hands. So we look over our shoulders at the burden we have let go of and we take those few steps back to what is familar -the strain of the weight….

And we pick it back up again and we continue walking with it; knees weak, backs weighed down once again, lungs only half full of air and no more sun on our faces. Indeed, burdens are funny things…

Teacher Problems

Teacher problems

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It’s that time of the year. While most people wish to extend their holidays, I look forward to heading back to work. This is the place where we can make a difference in the world. The workplace is the reason why we need a break and actually appreciate that break the most.

I tend to draw a blank when I look at a term plan. It is important, especially when teaching English, to stay current and so our ears stay on the ground for anything that will help us to teach the good old things better.

A nifty trick that has helped me this time around is looking up the themes of a set work being taught in a term and then using those themes to find apppropriate poetry and visual literacy material.

In a nutshell; Google remains king! I hope you all had a good first week back at work after the holidays and to the teachers; go out there and be better! Happy weekend!

Gym Life, Uncategorized

Don’t Give up

I really threw in the towel – I mean tossed it across the room threw it – then a couple of things happened.

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Alex works out like a boss! Like all the the time and she looks all kinds of ripped and cut! To be fair, she is a personal trainer who does this all day every day. For the rest of us who don’t have the time, a body like hers is only in our dreams! But Alex makes it accessible.  She’s always like, ” All you need to do is keep you portions small and train for 45 minutes at a consistant 3 -5 times a week” ( I’ve mixed some of this with what the Elephant preaches- he says I need more work!). You should really check her out on instagram though, I love the narratives she gives all her pictures. She makes me wanna get my gym gear on and get my butt to working out!  Thanks Alex!

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Sidebar- This is punny! – speaking of instagram, my account is private because I’m a teacher ( an explanation for another blog, I think) and the only requests for followers I ever receive are from people who have just hopped onto the bandwagon ooor new friends I’ve made ( yes, I still make new friends!) But the past few days I have been getting requests from fitness pages with inspirational quotes about working out.

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So here I am, 800 kilometres away from all my gym wear and I’m amped to get back into gear. I’ve borrowed my sister’s running shoes, pants and sports bra ( I am still not convinced that we are the same cup size! I want a third opinion!) And I have my Nike training app. It is on in the morning!

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Unfortunately, they don’t tell you that when you go to bed with a plan in your head, sleep doesn’t come easily….

Uncategorized

I don’t Lick It

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The Lick is the one thing that is not getting better. My warm up pattern is more comfortable and so are my scales but the lick is refusing!

The more it refuses the less I practise it. The less I practise it the more it refuses. What a vicious cycle…

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I hate monotomy. But it begins tomorrow. The red abyss will dictate my every move for the next 3 weeks. Mr Elephant used to help with that. He used to break the sameness… now he’s gone…

But I must keep licking and ticking, because life goes on and does not wait for you to pick yourself up…

I better get some sleep… 2 exams are dropping in my lap in the morning…