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Merry Christmas

Hey Everyone!

It’s almost Christmas!! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Well, so I thought when I was younger and much more optimistic about, well, life in general.

Sometimes I read my old old blog posts and I wonder what happened to me. I was so full of hope and promise. I was so vibrant and so many things lay ahead of me. I miss that girl, and often wonder if she would have held on to all her sense of wonder had she avoided the unnecessary hardships life had in store for her…

I’ve been thinking about depression a lot later. They say that the festive season is peak time for it and I’ve been wondering why. I dare not speak about anyone else’s experiences except my own so I’ve been in retrospect, looking at why I find myself down during the festive season.

It took me longer than it should have to book my ticket and to pack my bag for the trip home this year. I dreaded every bit of the journey because it has become tedious. I also dreaded a lot of what was waiting for me here. The raised eyebrows at my lack of a baby bump or ring on my finger for example. Over the years, they no longer actually ask, but the expectant looks still speak volumes. Sometimes the family’s disappointment at my empty handed arrival is enough to make me want to fly away and stay away.

When I was younger, I looked forward to an awesome adulthood! I would have a a great job, a beautiful house, a husband who adored me and the coolest children in the universe! I had no idea how any of this would happen. I figured it would all fall into place, just like that!

But adutling has taught me differently over the last few years. I’ve learned that relationships are really difficult, sometimes, impossible. I’ve learned that some things in life are not as simple as ticking a box. They, in fact, require faith and waiting and saying no a lot and, sometimes rudely, in order to know peace of mind. I’ve learned that nobody but you is going to protect you..

Despite how my life seems to have plateaued, I still look forward to Christmas with my family. This is one of the few little corners in the world where I feel like I belong and I am loved and cherished! I would not give my people away for anything!

And so my prayer for you this Christmas is that you have that same corner where you are loved and treasured! May you feel overwhelming love this Christmas, a love that elates you.

Thank you so much for popping in! You know how much I love having you here. Have a beautiful day! We’ll chat on Wednesday😘

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am writing, my adventures

Ke December Boss

Endless sizzling hot days. Sun, swimsuits, carefree, every day yours to do with as you please.

Family, friends, catch up time with all your people: a reminder of where you belong.

Gifts exchanged; I’m special to you and you to me. Thank you for being in my life and letting me into yours.

I love the African festive season ☺

Love & War, Prose, Ramblings, Soul Stuff

Independant Women

3 fierce women under one roof will sometimes clash. One must be the appeaser and choose to hover in the background because…. because it’s not her turn – not her spotlight, not her story. She’s just here as extra hands, to pass the cloth, make the food, put away the bucket.She’s a helping hand only… 6 days have never felt so long…

Love & War, Prose, Ramblings

Mended Bridges

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She stood up as many did before her and waited for her accolade to be announced to the attendants. He paused for a moment and their eyes met. “Ngudade wethu lowa”, That’s my sister , he announced.”Ndamshiyela ibele” I left her our mother’s breast. He proceeded to recite their clan names: Nyawuza, Faku, Ziqelekeze,Thahla. Her face broke into a smile she could not contain. Her heart burst with the pride of being associated with him and the brokenness he was declaring restored.

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And with that, the bridge was mended.