Control

Hey everyone! It’s good to have you back😊 I had a bit of drama yesterday but I’m begining to bounce back a little bit, I’ll tell you all about it in a minute!

I finally finished this gem in the wee hours of this morning! If you haven’t yet, you should really get your hands on this beauty! I’m definitely planning to read it again!

Back to my drama! The past few weeks have been very very strange. I haven’t been sleeping very well. I go to bed at a decent hour and without the disturbing noise of the TV. But without fail, every morning, around 4am, I’m up. Wide awake. I’ve finally resorted to reading and catching up on marking until I fall back asleep. On other nights, I spend the time in prayer and meditation; there is so much to pray about, guys!

I’ve also been putting my body through a lot of strain in the gym. My shins have been hurting and so have my knees from all the extra work I’ve been putting in. Everyone around me has been telling me to take it easy, rest and pick it back up – I haven’t listened and yesterday, I caught a stomach bug! Well, it wasn’t that bad, but my plan to go for a run in the morning and gym later on in the day as well as put in some marking in between was shot to hell! My body caved and demanded the rest I was refusing it.

Even as I proofread this, I feel mildy overwhelmed! I try to do too much and I’m not sure what I’m trying to prove, but my lesson here is very clear: I need to give up control: over my body, my work, the people in my life, everything! I started this year with the intention to enjoy my life the way it is and it’s time to go with the flow, listen to my body and my mind and just relax a little bit.

So share with me! What is your life demanding of you right now? I hope you are listening closely! It’s always a pleasure to have you here. Don’t worry, Sunday will be here before you know it 😘

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Forward

Happy Sunday erbody!

How’s the weather in your corner of the world? It’s been raining in Joburg since last night. It’s the perfect weather for staying cooped up in bed with a good book, a stew on the stove while in the arms of a bearded Nubian King! Wow! That escelated so quickly😂

Today I’d like to share what vaguely resembles poetry, but prefer calling prose… I’ve learned this week that moving on and getting over is dependant on me and not always on outside factors. I tend to play victim a great deal of the time to excuse my own holding on…

Anyway! Here you go! Enjoy the read!

So we’ve been sitting here.

Hunched over this mess,

throwing blame back and forth as though in a tennis match.

I’m tired.

Of sitting.

Of wallowing.

Of spewing accusations at you and wiping upthrown bile from my own face.

I’m moving forward.

You’re welcome to move with me.

Or you can stay behind and wallow on your own.

As always, I appreciating your dropping by for my posts! Your support means the world to me! Have a beautiful week! I’ll see you on Wednesday😘

Discipline

Hello everybody!

What a hectic but rewarding week! I hope yours is going well so far too!

So I started this week off with a plan. Because I knew it was going to be a very demanding week especially workwise, I knew I would need a lot of discipline to get through it! And so my mind was set on being disciplined.

So tonight, I’m gonna share some pointers that helped me to maintain it. Here it is:

Discipine means Determination

No matter what aspect of your life you choose to be discplined in, you’re going to need to be determined in order to stay in it. Your mind will make up all kinds of reasons why you don’t need to go to gym today or why that work assignment can wait for later for you to do. You will need to be stubborn and force yourself to do it anyway. Make up your mind, don’t think about it; just start. Simple.

Stay calm

It’s important not to panic when obsticles come your way. You have a plan in place stick to it and don’t let the curveballs get you down, ok?

Take time to do your own thing

You are not a machine! You are allowed to get tired and you are allowed to rest. Rest, not stop. After regrouping, get back up and get on with it!

Self-improvement is a lot of work but it’s worth it because it is the one good thing you can do for yourself. You matter and you are worth every effort you put in! Don’t you forget it!

Ok, I’m done yodaring, lol. Thank you for popping in and have a beautiful remaining week😊 I’ll see you on Sunday!

Invigilation

Invigilation is a slow game of Pacman. There are, however, no winners;

Just teachers entrenched in those aisle

Picking up dropped pencils and adjusting facedown student cards- bored out of their minds

Knowing fully well that their only escape is a quiet classroom and a pile waiting for that red tick- Or red cross.

Students, stuck in their seats filling pages and pages with dates and sums and reasons in hopes that they will will be rewarded. Sometimes merely waiting for the declaration: “Pens down!”

Indeed, this game of Pacman holds us all hostage!

He

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He has a name, an occupation, likes and dislikes. He is no longer faceless. I no longer wonder who or where he is. He is here.

But I have to wait. I cannot touch. I had a glimpse of how it could be if he allowed it. But I have to wait.

Our hands are stained – by each other and of our own doing. They have to be clean and empty to receive…

image

I fear I’m forcing a square peg into a round hole, but a square and a circle never fit quite this well together. He gives me peace about it. This could run like a well oiled machine… Damnit I’m bargening! I need to stop bartering. You are King over the flood…

I dont know how long the wait is for, but I know where my eyes need to be fixed….